Elam's Kiss

I have been reaching...reaching to try and grasp what it can possibly mean to love unconditionally. Everywhere I turn, I have found the answer just out of reach or slipping through my fingers. And then I cry out .....and He hears me.

From The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning:

Jonas Zook is an eighty-two-year-old widower. He and his children raise piglets for their livelihood. The oldest Barbara, fifty seven, manages the household. The three younger children- Rachel , fifty-three;Elam, forty-seven; and Sam, forty-five- are all severely retarded. When I arrived at noon with two friends, little Elam- about four feet tall, heavy-set, thickly bearded, and wearing the black Amish outfit with the circular hat- was coming out of the barn some fifty yards away, pitchfork in hand. He had never laid eyes on me in his life; yet, when he saw me step out of the car, this little mongloid dropped the pitchfork and ran lickety-split in my direction. From two feet away he flung himself at me, wrapped his arms around my neck, his legs around my waist, and kissed me on the lips with fierce intensity for a full thirty seconds.

Well, I was temporarily stunned and terribly self- concious. But in the twinkle of an eye, Jesus set me free from propriey. I buried my lips into Elam's and returned his kiss with the same enthusiasm. Then he jumped down, wrapped both his hands around my right arm, and led me on a tour of the farm.

A half hour later, Elam sat next to me at lunch. Midway through the meal I turned to say something. Inadvertantly, my right elbow slammed into Elam's rib cage. He didn't wince, he didn't groan; he wept like a two-year-old child. His next move undid me.

Elam came over to my chair, planted himself on my lap, and kissed me even harder on the lips. Then he kissed my eyes, nose, forehead and cheeks.

And there was Brennan, dazed, dumbstruck, weeping, and suddenly seized by the power of a great affection.

And there I was, early in the morning, weeping as I read of this unconditional love. I suddenly realized that a love I had always thought of as gentle and kind is actually fierce and nowhere near sedate (peaceful, yes; sedate, no). He is in me....HE has given me His mind, His heart, His spirit.....HE has given me Himself. He has given me the incredible gift of being loved ...fiercely.

Unconditional love, the ability to love unconditionally, I now feel as if I might be holding it loosely in my cupped hands.

Please Father breathe through me, love through me. Less of me, more of You.