I have 3 beautiful children and 5 loving and wonderful gift-children. I am showered with acts of love: cards, flowers, pictures, chocolate, tea-cup, book, delicious meals...words of affection and affirmation.
I have an amazing mother who has done nothing but love me unconditionally all my life. She is a light that has given me light. She is comfort and has taught me to be a comforter.
I am blessed beyond measure.
Today I take out a precious little carved box that I seldom open. I lovingly run my fingers over the pictures and words carved into the box. I hesitate to open it and set it back down. I come back again and gaze at it longingly. I refuse to cry. I slowly open it........
Topaz....
10,000 miles .....
17 months......
I miss you my darling one...my precious first-born daughter. Will it be like this as each one of these beautiful gifts grows up and goes out on their own? Will I put them each in their own special box in order to protect my tender heart? Will I only think of them in fleeting moments, knowing that I still love them desperately....but also knowing that love and distance can overwhelm me?
It is a wonderous thing to take a child and with trembling fingers remove them from myself and place them in HIS hands. It is a humbling thing to recognize that she is her own woman now, that each of these gifts will step out our front door one by one.
I miss you my darling, complicated, independent, beautiful, smart girl.
Topaz.....
10,000 miles.....
17 months......
O Lord you are my God
I will exalt You
I will give thanks to Your name
For you have worked wonders
Plans formed long ago
With perfect faithfulness
Isaiah 25:1
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