dancing chickens, weeping bees and attaining 700

With a family as large as ours, it can sometimes be hard to spend one on one time with each child.
This week I had that chance with the three who live full time in our home and it created a longing in me to ensure that I do it more often.

Sardius and I spent an evening at the symphony, courtesy of Bampa for Sardius' birthday. We enjoyed a simple ice cream cone beforehand . We attended the pre-symphony talk and decided that while it was interesting, the talk was too long to do it again :)

Sardius is learning to play the violin and finds great enjoyment in music. I find this incredibly ironic as he is our one child who appears to be tone deaf. Our favorite piece was Pictures at an Exhibition. The program listed the different paintings/sketches that corresponded to the movements and we had a hard time not giggling as the music wonderfully portrayed a chicken ballet. The ending movement represented a city gate and church....the music so powerful that we were both deeply moved.

I treasure every moment that I can sit close with Sardius and hold his hand, his head leaning on my shoulder...
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Anonimo took Jasper, Emerald, Sardius and Electrum to Jasper's hockey practice. This left a quiet house with just myself and Quartz. Quartz is a solitary young man and he has always been uncomfortable with more than just a couple of people around him. We have walked some agonizing paths with him and my love and burden for him go very deep.

Quartz recently learned to play rummy, so we sat down to a special time of just being together. I would normally choose to play classical music or gentle hymns, but I know that this music, especially the hymns, grates on his nerves. I brought up the Pandora website and had him make his own station, knowing that his love in music is techno/percussion. My only thought as we listened to it was an extreme thankfulness that he does not like rap or heavy metal.

He taught me to play rummy and the evening slowly rolled along. I talked too much as I always do with him...I have too much desperation in wanting to reach through to his heart. I have not heard the words "I love you" in over two years from his mouth. I have though, perhaps seen it spoken in his eyes and the tilt of his head. He mocks my beliefs and cannot begin to comprehend my love for God.

He attained 700 before me and the game and time was over.

The love for this son is almost too much sometimes.
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Garnet and I both love good books and a time of reading. We both love to write. A favorite book is The Secret Life of Bees. It is very rare that we actually go to a movie theater to see a movie, but when this movie came out this week, I agreed that we should go see it.

Garnet is my step-daughter and a young woman, the oldest of our 8. Anonimo and I have discovered that each of us will never have the same emotions for our step-children as we do for our blood children. Our hearts have been bound to our blood children since birth. Our hearts have only been tied to our step-children for a short time.

We have learned more about the love of the Father with our step-children than we have with our blood children.

Both Garnet and I enjoyed the movie and I wept as a picture of love was drawn before us on the screen. A picture of love between people related and people not related, but brought together as family.

I hope to enjoy other movies and time with Garnet. I also hope to let go of my stubborn heart.

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The fog has rolled in this morning and softens the lines of my normal view. This lack of clarity makes for a beautiful picture.

Perhaps not everything always needs to be so clear and "finished". Perhaps softening my view is what is needed and .......most of all, what is most loving.

excercising artistic expression

My dear Anonimo has quirks....just like I do :) and I love him for these quirks and so much more.

When we married, Anonimo had a wooden dining room table that he prized. After his divorce he had little in the way of furnishings and this table was one of the first things he purchased at a second hand shop.

He would lovingly clean the table top and then apply oil to make it shine. He likes a clean tabletop...one where the light reflects off the finish of the wood.

I, on the other hand, treasure irregularities and mishaps. For me a table should tell a story of all the years it has sturdily sat and provided a place for the family to gather together. A scratch? No problem says I. A hot pan scorches the corner. Ahhhh, that will always be a memory says I.

Anonimo does not treasure the irregularities and mishaps. He prefers the restored, the symmetrical, the "nice".

For many months we had that dining room table and around it sat several mis-matched chairs. As much as I might like mis-matched, I did not like those chairs. We looked at furniture store after furniture store and were aghast at the cost of chairs. Neither of us could bring ourselves to spend so much on a matching set of chairs.

A few weekends ago we stopped at a yard sale. Sitting by the entrance was one dark wood chair with a blue covered seat. A small sign was propped on the seat: Chairs $5 each, Table $35. "May we see your dining room set?"

We walked inside the small house with a very nice older man. Immediately our eyes widened in surprise. What a perfect dining room set. Gorgeous wood. The legs of the table sturdy and yet artistic. 6 matching chairs, with one of them being a "papa chair". The table had always been covered with a table pad and so the wooden top was pristine.

Total price $65.

We went home and took down Anonimo's prized first table. When we took out the leaves it shrunk into a tiny round table and we all laughed in delight at this. The mismatched chairs went into the van to go to the dump.

Getting the new table into the house was quite a chore, but Anonimo and Sardius managed. As soon as it was set up , Anonimo gathered his rag and cleaning materials and began his "artistic exercise".

To watch him clean the table is like watching a performance. He is focused and concentrated on the task, his arms and hands sweep across the table. His stands back and carefully eyes the table from every position until he finally judges it "clean".

I smile everytime I see him do this. It could be the other way around....it could exasperate me. Thank you Father that it does not.

We both came out of first marriages where we did not know what it meant to appreciate our partner and love. This time we embrace instead of exasperate.

In many ways we are so incredibly different, but in so many other ways we are perfectly matched.

eHarmony took all of our quirks and all of our qualities and shook them around and computed: Anonimo for Aletheia, Aletheia for Anonimo.

It worked, quirks and all.

Mr. Tooth Decay never sleeps

Sardius woke in the middle of the night in pain. "My teeth hurt". I was immediately pricked as I remembered that I should have taken him to the dentist month's ago to fix a cavity.

He got a little snack and took an advil and went right back to sleep.

I called the dentist and was able to get him in that day. As I left work to pick him up, I was so thankful that I have a job with flexibility (and good insurance).

The dentist worked on Sardius for over an hour and then called me in. "Now mother, I see here by this x-ray that Sardius was here last year and that we identified a cavity. I am not sure how this all slipped through the cracks, but you must remember- Mr. Tooth Decay never sleeps."

I , who hate correction or reproof, slightly simmered as his eyes gazed at me over his gauze mask. His jaw moved back and forth as he chewed his never-ending gum.

"ummm, yes."

And I walked away convicted of my pride and my procrastination. Sardius was just happy to have the tooth fixed .

Next stop was Walgreens to pick up wart medicine for his hands. We went to the pharmacist counter for a recommendation and Sardius held out his hands . The pharmacist spoke one word: "Wow."

For years he had severe eczema on his hands. Now he has wart upon warts. He bears all this beautifully. I know that I would not bear it as well. And I do not...for my warts do not show on my hands.....they attach themselves to my soul....and show in those moments when I least expect them.

Sardius' medicine will freeze off the warts in about 14 days.

What about my warts? Am I procrastinating in their removal?
What about my cavities? Am I allowing them to continue while I sleep?

I am not one to see an analogy in every situation....yet this one does hit home.

Fe Fi Fo Fum

I hear her enter by the downstairs door. Her voice squeals as she greets Sugar and showers her with love. Up the stairs she comes. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

Fe, Fi, Fo Fum I call out. I cannot help it...I hear the giant coming. She laughs as she continues to climb BOOM. Fe!. BOOM. Fi. BOOM. Fo! BOOM Fum! One last BOOM and she enters the kitchen laughing with me. "Fe Fi Fo Fum. I'mmm gonna get you!"

She is beautiful tonight...tall. Wearing new boots that she could not resist keeping on inside the house. Her hair is pulled back and she wears no make-up. Her Daddy's leather jacket is over her red and white school sweatshirt. She has painted her fingernails red and white. She is ready to go.

It is Homecoming night and Hyacinth is excited. Into the car we go and I drop Garnet and Hyacinth at the gate of the football field. I watch Hyacinth stride off as Garnet follows with a smile. The night air is very chill. Hyacinth swings my red wrap as she strides.

BANG. The downstairs door slams shut and I hear her voice squealing again with delight as she greets Sugar. Garnets voice lovingly greets Sugar in a lower tone.

There is no fe fi fo fum as she climbs the stairs this time. She has removed her boots and comes into the living room with her eyes sparkling. "I Won! We got a strike! I won!" And we all laugh with her.

"Time for bed honey". She goes downstairs and changes into her pink penguin pajamas and comes back up for a bedtime snack. She lovingly carries her baby-doll wrapped in a purple blanket, her steps very soft now as she walks in her tinkerbell socks.

How can we help but love her?

my chair

My favorite chair is dark green, It sits up high on its two rockers. I sit between the two sturdy arms and feel cradled and comfortable. We bought my chair at a yard sale a few months ago. The previous owners told me they had purchased it from the remains of an old schoolhouse. It had been the teacher's chair and upolstered in faded and torn leather. They re-upolstered it in Victorian green. My favorite part of the chair is that it rocks. Movement soothes me.

I wonder how many books were read aloud from this chair. How many children curled up in it when they were not feeling well.

From where I sit, I can look out our front window and directly through two windows of the second floor of a neighbors house. The shades are always up in my neighbors room and that allows me to view the sunrise over the Lake as if looking at a painting hanging on the wall.

This morning is still dark, the days are unveiling later. The sun begins with a blazing and deep orange that quickly fades into lavender into pink and now into the sky.

I sit in my comfy chair and view beauty through the layers of three panes of glass. And my mind can roam and come back again. My spirit can inhale the beauty of the colors.

To have a chair and a view is an important thing.